Rand's Island
by Channeling Wisdom
Summary: Gilligan's Island....sorta....I know, I am not sane....


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I know, I know! I am strange beyond all hope of comprehension, AND I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! MUA HA HA!!!!!!! This is a takeoff on Gilligan's Island. Heh. R&R!!! Disclaimer: The song belongs to Gilligan's Island. Whoever made it, too. And the peeps are RJ's!!!  
  
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*Weird creepy music*  
  
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship.  
  
*Tear is shown. A crowd of people are squeezed into a little rowboat with the name "Bucket" on it. It looks about to fall apart any minute now...*  
  
The mate was a mighty sailin' man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour...a three hour tour......................  
  
*Now the rowboat is in the middle of a huge storm*  
  
The weather started getting rough The tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, The Bucket would be lost...the Bucket would be lost..................... The ship's aground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle.... With Rand al'Thor................... Mat Cauthon, too.................... The Wolfbrother..........and his wife................... The Aes Sedai.................. The Warder, and Nynaeve............ Here on Rand al'Thor's IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIsle!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Scene opens on the boat, once more in the storm*  
  
Perrin and Faile worked furiously with the bailing buckets, trying to get the water out. Rand looks thoughtfully at the bottom of the boat, then nods to himself.  
  
"The only thing left to do is to cut out the hole!" Rand declared. With that, he grabbed Lan's sword and set to work cutting out the gaping hole in the boat. Nynaeve shrieked, and tried to get Lan's sword back.  
  
"Rand al' Thor, you wool-headed monkey! You can't cut out a HOLE!!!!"  
  
Rand shoved her away, giving her a look of superiority.  
  
"I am the DRAGON REBORN! I can cut out a hole if I want to!!!!! Hey! The hole's getting bigger!!! I think I need to cut faster!!!" Rand worked furiously at the hole. Nynaeve tried again to get the sword back, but Lan held her back.  
  
"Nynaeve, the man is derranged! He could chop off your head with that thing!"  
  
"Don't be silly, Lan. He isn't possibly that smart." Moiraine Sedai growled.  
  
"HELP!!!!! IT KEEPS GETTING BIGGER!!!!" Rand wailed as the water came up to his knees. Perrin and Faile groaned, and Mat joined the bailing. Moiraine just watched as Nynaeve struggled to free herself from Lan's grip, Rand cackled madly as he sawed at the boat, and the three people tried frantically to empty the boat with sand pails.  
  
"Oh, who cares if we die, anyways?" Moiraine yawned.  
  
Just then, the boat broke. Rand had disconnected the floor from the sides of the boat. Perrin grabbed Faile and began to tread water. Mat still held a pail as he managed to keep above the surface. Moiraine grinned evilly. Now was the time.  
  
With a flow of Air, Moiraine attempted at pushing Nynaeve down in the water to drown, but Lan shoved Moiraine into the water, and dove down to get Nynaeve.  
  
She choked and spluttered, and when she saw Moiraine coughing and spluttering as well, she grinned to herself. Rand was smiling like an idoit, and singing "Rain, Rain, Go Away! Come again some other day!" and splashing around in the water.  
  
Somehow they all made it to the shore of an uncharted desert isle, and sat on the sand, thinking what they could do. Moiraine was moaning about how her hair was ruined, and Lan was sitting cross-legged on the beach, wearing an expression of extreme calm as Nynaeve struggled to get away from him so she could have a chat with Moiraine.  
  
"This is so cool! Watch me, Perrin!" Rand dug a hole in the sand like a dog, put his head in, and covered it up.  
  
"See? You can't see me anymore!" Rand's muffled voice came. He wiggled his behind desperately as he realized he couldn't get out.  
  
"HELP! GET ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUT!!!!!!"  
  
Perrin groaned, and pulled his head out of the sand.  
  
"There? Happy, Rand?" Perrin brushed the sand off of his hands.  
  
"I'm happy enough for a Happy Meal!" Rand declared. Perrin rolled his eyes.  
  
"Rand, you know very well that there is NO McDonald's on this uncharted desert isle."  
  
Rand smiled and shook his head, "There is TOO!" He pointed to the treetops. Sure enough, the double golden arches shone across the island. Perrin rubbed his eyes.  
  
"Bloody ashes, MAT! MOIRAINE! NYNAEVE! FAILE! LAN! MICKEY D'S!!!!!!!!!!" Perrin yelled.  
  
Everyone gazed at the sign in awe. Rand was the first to break the silence.  
  
"I want a new Superman Happy Meal! WITH a toy! Moiraine, do you have any money?"  
  
Moiraine reluctantly fishes out her purse, and Rand jumps around, smiling like an idiot. Everyone else digs out money and follows the light.  
  
"McDonald's....may I take your order?" The voice came from the speaker. Rand grinned and pretended to stop his invisible car. Moiraine moaned, and Nynaeve tried to drag Rand back, but Lan held her in a firm grip, and muttered something in which Nynaeve only caught the word "derranged".  
  
"Yessireebubbaroo I would! I AM THE DRAGON REBORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I want a Happy Meal with Chicken Nuggets. AND barbecue sauce." Rand screamed into the speaker.  
  
"Barbecue sauce is sick!" Faile groaned.  
  
"No! It's the best in the world, and don't ever let me hear your terrible self say otherwise!" Rand snarled. Perrin growled at him, and Rand backed off.  
  
"Anything else?" the voice said.  
  
Moiraine shoved Rand aside, "I'd like a Crispy Chicken sandwich, NO mayo, I'm on a diet and doing well, thank you!"  
  
"A Big Mac for me!" Nynaeve sniffed.  
  
"Three Big Macs for me," Lan called, "and fries to split!"  
  
"I want Grilled Chicken Flatbread!" Mat announced, as Perrin screamed, "WE'LL HAVE A LARGE CHICKEN NUGGETS AND FRIES! AND A LARGE DRINK TO SHARE!"  
  
Rand made a car noise, and moved over to the pay window. Moiraine handed over the dough, and Rand kept going. The window opened to reveal Ba'alzamon, who handed them their order.  
  
"Thank you, have a nice day!" he yawned. Rand beamed, and snatched the Happy Meal. He commensed to ripping the bag open, and taking out the toy.  
  
"SWEET!"  
  
"What is it?" Mat frowned.  
  
"Hmmmm....it says on the package.......Dragon Reborn. Huh. Cool."  
  
"WHAT?!" Moiraine screamed, "HOW DID IT GET OUT TO THE PUBLIC???"  
  
"What? What's a Dragon Reborn?" Rand demanded.  
  
"You just said yourself that you were-" Nynaeve was cut off by Lan stuffing a fry in her mouth to keep her quiet. She choked when she realized that there was no salt.  
  
"No salt?! ARGH!!!!!!"  
  
Rand sat down on the pavement, making his action figure walk around, and then tossing him up into the air while making noises.  
  
"TSEW! TSEW! BAM BAM!"  
  
The action figure was slammed onto the pavement, but soon was flying around Moiraine's head.  
  
"Rand, get that thing away from me!"  
  
"NO!!!!! He's a SUPERHERO!!!!!"  
  
"NOW!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can't MAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE me!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I can too!"  
  
"Okay. You can." Rand shuffled back to his spot of pavement and began his noises again.  
  
  
  
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Heh. Just when you thought I was getting sane......  
  
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End file.
